Save

As much as you like to think so, you cannot save every stray animal, wandering soul, sick person, the planet and the Universe, so you may as well take a little time and save yourself. Words of wisdom from a dear friend. Truth ringing in my ears, but not quite convincing me to stop and smell the flowers; and yes I get the irony.
I should probably post this as well to Beacons blog, because it is he who has me thinking this early a.m. He could not sleep. Up and down all night. Nudging me to rub his head, cuddle with him, only to have him dart off the edge of the bed and to the door.  Finally I gave in and let him go. Out the door and down the steps, like a dash, on his two front legs. This is only happening because I too am up. Otherwise he would realize that he was alone in the dark, and it would begin, an unending cry of epic proportions. Unending until I walk down the stairs, grab him in my arms and take him back to bed. This could go on many times throughout a night. When he is restless I am restless. So here we are.
Beacon is two years old this month, and looking back over our journey so far, I can say that I have become an expert at reading him. He goes through cycles which are primarily based on his body's digestive tract, and his ability to utilize food and process waste.
Later today he will be out like a light. Most days he is like this. The stress of getting around, the energy expended is much more noticeable now that he is fully grown. Yet that doesn't stop him when he is on a roll. He, can out maneuver all of the other cats, out run them and out fox them. The only thing he can't do is jump. So he has learned to pull himself up on furniture, maneuver onto table tops and on some occasions, get stuck, scaring the crap out of me. Which prompts me to make the rounds throughout the day, looking for him, making sure he is safe.
In all honesty, I do not believe that I can save the world, or myself. At least not in a way that would be efficient. I do feel however that I am saved. Not in a religious way, but in a way that allows me to be at ease in the world. For as much as I may seem restless, I am very much at peace with life. Adhering to the Tao Pooh philosophy I focus my attention to the present moment. Always observant, always taking it all in. It is amazing how much we are able to understand through calm and silence. Amazing how easy it is to let go. Knowing that the extraneous things that define me today, I can walk away from at any moment and be complete. Knowing that blood is thicker than water, and that beating hearts trump everything else.

Ginger

Today I moved Ginger to her new kitty condo in the living room. Out in the general population. So far she is doing well and I am hopeful that she will eventually become more social. I hated breaking up the duo of Ginger and her sister Sophie. Ginger has always been the most anti-social of the two, so I wanted to start with her first. Ginger has a few issues. Strabismus with a slight involuntary nodding of her head. The head nodding is more recent but the eyes have always been crossed inward. This is common with some pure breeds, and the option is  to sometimes surgically correct it.  I am going to wait until she is a bit more stable before we consider another surgery. They were both recently spayed. Not the easiest thing in the world to catch a couple of feral cats and take them to the vet, but we manage, plus we have an amazing vet who is wonderful with animals. Now that she is out in the open, I can begin to spend more close up time with her. I am not sure if she will ever be tame enough to initiate friendliness on her own, but at least we are beginning the process to find out. Without the luxury of being able to run under something to hide, she will have to open up and make some adjustments. I moved a small table to the side of her kitty condo and placed a pillow on top. Miss Anniebelle has been laying there next to Ginger on the other side. If anything it is a great start. I am sure (most of) the other cats will welcome her if she gives them a chance. Contrary to what one might think, Cats can be very loving and are generally quite democratic. Particularly those of the spay and neutered variety. Nothing snooty about them, really...

Zoom

The babies are growing like weeds. Lola the only girl in the litter looks a lot like Harlequin (the mother) who is doing just fine and staying close to the house after her surgery. Beacon has become the surrogate father once again, taking them all under his wing, grooming them and following them around.
We have gone through an adjustment period, but things are working out. There is a harmony to our new family of misfits and I am pleased. I feel right at home.

Mettle

It is hot here, really hot. A test of ones physical as well as mental abilities. On any given day I am off to the lily pond for a quiet sit, but today I am not feeling so sprite and willing to surrender.  Instead I have another cup of tea and dive into my work. Work for me is also a type of meditation. One that is forever testing my resolve, as I move through it in a way that I feel is respectful to myself and others who are touched by it.
Better than the sitting, is the walk down to the pond. The time spent arriving.

Harlequin

We brought Miss Harlequin (momma cat) home from the vets on Thursday, and due to her wild nature and high stress levels they recommended letting her back out in a couple of days. (Skipping the follow-up visit). Today is that day and I am feeling a bit ambivalent about it. I think I will wait two more days. Sunday is Independence Day and she is a wild independent creature, so in exercising my rights to symbolism I will let her go on Sunday.
We are at our limit on cats, and just yesterday I noticed that our new neighbors cat was in heat. Being chased by our resident males (who are scheduled for surgery on Tuesday). I will likely have to trap one of them, but the other is tame enough now to let me pick him up. Sill, it seems like a never ending struggle. A female cat can have two litters pr year, up to twelve kittens.  There are so many homeless cats in the wild that to let ones un-spayed pet run wild is irresponsible, and I am wondering what these folks will do when the babies arrive. I have lost count of the many cats we have taken in over the years, and the many more that we had to turn away because there just isn't enough room for them all.
Long before we were able to trap Harlequin she was  extremely guarded. We could put food out for her and she would stay at a considerable distance. Waiting for us to go back in the house before approaching the food bowl. I can't begin to imagine how she is feeling now and how guarded she will be once I let her go. I hope that over time she will forget her time in captivity. At least I feel better knowing that she doesn't have to worry about raising more babies.

Little Blessings

After a few days in the big cage, our momma cat is still hiding behind the litter box. I will be glad to get it all over, she may be as well. I wonder how animals feel about having no choice in their reproduction cycle. Ruled by nature a cat will have generally two possibly three litters in a year, and provided they make it without being taken down by illness or injury, this cycle can go on for years. Some will say that animals have no feelings about such matters, yet I can detect a weariness in this momma cat, and suspect it is a blessing to her in many ways. In a few weeks she will be back out in her world, no more to worry about the responsibilities of motherhood and the burden it can be to a wild cat on her own.

The Cycle of Life

This has been one of the most amazing weeks. Started out with two emergency energy healing sessions that lasting three days, one hands on, one remote, (at the same time) and ended with the capture of Harlequin. The female feral cat who has been almost impossible to pin down. I wish after all these years I could say that it gets easier, it does not. I am able to regenerate my own energy much quicker now that my own cycle has shifted. And at the same time I wish I could come up with an equation to solidify a theory of  intentional electromagnetic transference. Can't do everything. Guess I will take what I have been given and call it a day.