Peaceful Kingdom

Sleeping beauties; Beacon top, Frankie bottom
These two have become fast friends.
Beacon loves Frankie and Frankie loves the love.

Priority

Sometimes we get lost in our own little world, doing what we do. I remember not too long ago my entire life was shaped and molded by my work. I could pick up and go, do what I wanted and not think a thing about it. When Beacon came along everything changed. Suddenly and already into my 50's I was responsible for someone other than myself. He needed daily care to live. He still does, and I have not regretted one no, one I can't, or one maybe next time. I didn't know I had it in me, and still have a hard time wrapping my head around how easily I transitioned. I thought I was pretty smart, had read all the right books, was into all the right things at the right time, yet none of it matters now. He is my number one, and he is beautiful.
We talk about priorities, and make lists of our most important things, but how important are they, really. I said no again the other day to someone who wanted me to travel for a perfume engagement. It would have taken me away from Beacon for three days. I love my work, love the success, but I love him more...

Inner Circle

My closest, and most cherished friends have fur.

Soul Trane

Been listening to John Coltrane.Live at the Village Vanguard, thinking about how similar we are to music. How the vibration of music is the vibration of life and we are part of it.
Watching little Beacon sleeping this morning, how he has to position himself in a particular way to be comfortable. He sleeps more now. An unshakably deep sleep. I touch him and he makes a little sound. He knows it is me. He depends on me, I will not let him down.

Above and Beyond

The work of caring for animals goes on. Even in these lean times. We are at our limit now, but have agreed to take in at least two more cats, to avoid the owners taking them to a county shelter. An open invitation, a just in case. We are here.
I know there are several private caregivers in my area, who had shelters, but due to lack of funding had to close their doors. To make things worse one of the towns near us has put a new law on their books to limit the number of cats and dogs people can have in their homes. What do they expect, that people can just toss out their family members only to have them killed at a county shelter.  Where are the smart people. Every level of government in this country seems to be run by a fringe group of morons. And if not run by them, another fringe group of morons are trying to claw their way to power.
When it comes to animals I take a very bold stand. And will not mince words when their safety and care are at issue.
Bless all of the wonderful people who share their lives with animals, take in strays and donate their time and money to no kill shelters. There are true heroes among us.

Save

As much as you like to think so, you cannot save every stray animal, wandering soul, sick person, the planet and the Universe, so you may as well take a little time and save yourself. Words of wisdom from a dear friend. Truth ringing in my ears, but not quite convincing me to stop and smell the flowers; and yes I get the irony.
I should probably post this as well to Beacons blog, because it is he who has me thinking this early a.m. He could not sleep. Up and down all night. Nudging me to rub his head, cuddle with him, only to have him dart off the edge of the bed and to the door.  Finally I gave in and let him go. Out the door and down the steps, like a dash, on his two front legs. This is only happening because I too am up. Otherwise he would realize that he was alone in the dark, and it would begin, an unending cry of epic proportions. Unending until I walk down the stairs, grab him in my arms and take him back to bed. This could go on many times throughout a night. When he is restless I am restless. So here we are.
Beacon is two years old this month, and looking back over our journey so far, I can say that I have become an expert at reading him. He goes through cycles which are primarily based on his body's digestive tract, and his ability to utilize food and process waste.
Later today he will be out like a light. Most days he is like this. The stress of getting around, the energy expended is much more noticeable now that he is fully grown. Yet that doesn't stop him when he is on a roll. He, can out maneuver all of the other cats, out run them and out fox them. The only thing he can't do is jump. So he has learned to pull himself up on furniture, maneuver onto table tops and on some occasions, get stuck, scaring the crap out of me. Which prompts me to make the rounds throughout the day, looking for him, making sure he is safe.
In all honesty, I do not believe that I can save the world, or myself. At least not in a way that would be efficient. I do feel however that I am saved. Not in a religious way, but in a way that allows me to be at ease in the world. For as much as I may seem restless, I am very much at peace with life. Adhering to the Tao Pooh philosophy I focus my attention to the present moment. Always observant, always taking it all in. It is amazing how much we are able to understand through calm and silence. Amazing how easy it is to let go. Knowing that the extraneous things that define me today, I can walk away from at any moment and be complete. Knowing that blood is thicker than water, and that beating hearts trump everything else.

Ginger

Today I moved Ginger to her new kitty condo in the living room. Out in the general population. So far she is doing well and I am hopeful that she will eventually become more social. I hated breaking up the duo of Ginger and her sister Sophie. Ginger has always been the most anti-social of the two, so I wanted to start with her first. Ginger has a few issues. Strabismus with a slight involuntary nodding of her head. The head nodding is more recent but the eyes have always been crossed inward. This is common with some pure breeds, and the option is  to sometimes surgically correct it.  I am going to wait until she is a bit more stable before we consider another surgery. They were both recently spayed. Not the easiest thing in the world to catch a couple of feral cats and take them to the vet, but we manage, plus we have an amazing vet who is wonderful with animals. Now that she is out in the open, I can begin to spend more close up time with her. I am not sure if she will ever be tame enough to initiate friendliness on her own, but at least we are beginning the process to find out. Without the luxury of being able to run under something to hide, she will have to open up and make some adjustments. I moved a small table to the side of her kitty condo and placed a pillow on top. Miss Anniebelle has been laying there next to Ginger on the other side. If anything it is a great start. I am sure (most of) the other cats will welcome her if she gives them a chance. Contrary to what one might think, Cats can be very loving and are generally quite democratic. Particularly those of the spay and neutered variety. Nothing snooty about them, really...

Zoom

The babies are growing like weeds. Lola the only girl in the litter looks a lot like Harlequin (the mother) who is doing just fine and staying close to the house after her surgery. Beacon has become the surrogate father once again, taking them all under his wing, grooming them and following them around.
We have gone through an adjustment period, but things are working out. There is a harmony to our new family of misfits and I am pleased. I feel right at home.

Mettle

It is hot here, really hot. A test of ones physical as well as mental abilities. On any given day I am off to the lily pond for a quiet sit, but today I am not feeling so sprite and willing to surrender.  Instead I have another cup of tea and dive into my work. Work for me is also a type of meditation. One that is forever testing my resolve, as I move through it in a way that I feel is respectful to myself and others who are touched by it.
Better than the sitting, is the walk down to the pond. The time spent arriving.

Harlequin

We brought Miss Harlequin (momma cat) home from the vets on Thursday, and due to her wild nature and high stress levels they recommended letting her back out in a couple of days. (Skipping the follow-up visit). Today is that day and I am feeling a bit ambivalent about it. I think I will wait two more days. Sunday is Independence Day and she is a wild independent creature, so in exercising my rights to symbolism I will let her go on Sunday.
We are at our limit on cats, and just yesterday I noticed that our new neighbors cat was in heat. Being chased by our resident males (who are scheduled for surgery on Tuesday). I will likely have to trap one of them, but the other is tame enough now to let me pick him up. Sill, it seems like a never ending struggle. A female cat can have two litters pr year, up to twelve kittens.  There are so many homeless cats in the wild that to let ones un-spayed pet run wild is irresponsible, and I am wondering what these folks will do when the babies arrive. I have lost count of the many cats we have taken in over the years, and the many more that we had to turn away because there just isn't enough room for them all.
Long before we were able to trap Harlequin she was  extremely guarded. We could put food out for her and she would stay at a considerable distance. Waiting for us to go back in the house before approaching the food bowl. I can't begin to imagine how she is feeling now and how guarded she will be once I let her go. I hope that over time she will forget her time in captivity. At least I feel better knowing that she doesn't have to worry about raising more babies.

Little Blessings

After a few days in the big cage, our momma cat is still hiding behind the litter box. I will be glad to get it all over, she may be as well. I wonder how animals feel about having no choice in their reproduction cycle. Ruled by nature a cat will have generally two possibly three litters in a year, and provided they make it without being taken down by illness or injury, this cycle can go on for years. Some will say that animals have no feelings about such matters, yet I can detect a weariness in this momma cat, and suspect it is a blessing to her in many ways. In a few weeks she will be back out in her world, no more to worry about the responsibilities of motherhood and the burden it can be to a wild cat on her own.

The Cycle of Life

This has been one of the most amazing weeks. Started out with two emergency energy healing sessions that lasting three days, one hands on, one remote, (at the same time) and ended with the capture of Harlequin. The female feral cat who has been almost impossible to pin down. I wish after all these years I could say that it gets easier, it does not. I am able to regenerate my own energy much quicker now that my own cycle has shifted. And at the same time I wish I could come up with an equation to solidify a theory of  intentional electromagnetic transference. Can't do everything. Guess I will take what I have been given and call it a day.

Rescue Momma

Finally: We were able to capture the mother cat. Could not believe it.  

A great day in the neighborhood. 

The Newbies

Our latest rescue effort.

After The Rain

The rain last night cooled things down. It is now cloudy and calm and more rain is in the forecast. We have taken in a new litter of kittens, and are keeping them on the back porch until we can acclimate them to the rest of the gang, or until we can find homes for them. It saddens me that so many animals are without homes these days. People are in dire straits and can't afford to feed them, and are barely able to feed themselves and their families. Still, there is nothing like the love of a pet, and the enjoyment they can bring to a family. I have been fortunate to have always had animals in my life. From that first German Shepard pup who got run over. To my first real friend Pooch, a gangly Dalmatian who followed me everywhere, even to school. He would sleep outside the school (I was in the 1st grade) and follow the bus home at the end of the day. Luckily we lived about a quarter mile from the school, and it wasn't a long walk for him. But I think he would have followed me anywhere. I guess in some way I always measured my friendships and human relationships against this model. Devoted, true, dependable and steadfast. Not too many have measured up, but that has been just fine with me.

Life Is Short

I keep meaning to write in this blog, but time gets away from me. Today however it is crawling at a snails pace. We lost one of our big outdoor males to the road. Hit by oncoming traffic in front of the house. Gandhi was an alpha male. Always cut up and defending his turf. I had tried to get friendly with him, and his nature would change periodically. Yet for the most part he was a wild child. I wish now that I had tried harder to capture him, take him to the vets for a nip tuck. But that in it's hindsight is just speculating on what might have been. Who's to say that he would not have died today regardless of the circumstances. I have no answers. I am only wondering why it seems that those with a choppy road to travel always have such a rough time of it. Was the Universe taking him to avoid more of the same. Fighting, injury and pain. Or is there some sort of cosmic cast system that has us all in its grip. Just last night I was admiring him as he slept on the back porch, and today possibly at or near the time as his death, I was standing over one of the other cats (while he was eating), making sure Gandhi didn't sneak up on him and run him off. I will miss him, but will always have full reminders of him. I am sure that he was the father of Daniel, Beacons brother, and possibly the whole litter since they are black and black and white. Gandhi was all black and so is Daniel. Daniel is large like Gandhi, and has much the same body language. Life is a series of risks that we take. the risk of opening our hearts, and giving love. I do so gladly and would not change a thing. I will miss our big warrior, and think of him often as Daniel jumps in my lap or head bumps my leg for attention.

Shift

Most of the time I am a cheerful sort, but then again, without a moments notice I can turn inward and become hauntingly reflective and quiet. It can last for days, sometimes weeks. Not a depression, or any feeling of despair, but a feeling of great calm and focus. I can write a novel in my head, compose music and formulate perfumes down to precise accuracy. It is uncanny, and I assume that it is probably normal. I would imagine that artists in general have this, whatever it is, so I don’t pay it much mind. I just ride it out and take a lot of notes.
I equate it to being in the Tao. When one is riding the wave of Tao it is effortless and not something that can be forced. To try to be in the zone so to speak, moves one farther and farther from it. It is the way the Universe teaches us about our natural wisdom. First by showing us how to be quiet so that we can feel things deeply. Once we are at that level of awareness we can understand (with great ease) the most complex of situations. The vastness of this quantum world is mind boggling when trying to see it from the outside, but when we are deep on the inside it’s like a walk in the park.
I believe that along with this state of awareness comes an enormous bundle of controlled energy. The greater our depth of awareness, the greater the ability to move with the energy.
There have been many scientific studies conducted in areas such as remote healing, as well as how human thoughts can alter the energy patterns of plants. The things we do not see, can be more powerful than the concrete reality of the ones we can hold in our hands.
Tonight as I sit here there is a blanket of snow on the ground outside and the temperature is in the low teens. I am reminded of the Tibetan Monks who through the ability to focus their energies, can control their body temperature, meditating outdoors in freezing weather.
For the most part the world is just too darned loud. Imagine how different things could be if we valued our internal knowledge and wisdom as much as we valued our right to be seen and heard. But then again critical mass can be a small number, and the slightest shift could turn us in a heartbeat.

Catching Up

I began this blog on wordpress, where I also had a blog dedicated to my business. I have in this new year begun a new chapter in life. One that eliminates clutter, and allows for more family time. As I stated in the original post (brought over from WP) Beacon was born with a malformed tail and two back legs that do not work. One is hyper-extended and the other lame. He balances himself on the lame one and steadies his body enough to walk around. He has become my best friend. Right now as I type he is sleeping on a big pillow on the floor next to me. When he was little he got sick all the time. Horrible bouts of diarrhea and vomiting. We were never certain from day to day if he would live. For much of his early life he wore a makeshift diaper made from a footie sock and maxi-pads cut down to fit in the sock. (as shown in the image). He was such a cutie. It may be hard to imagine but he could zip around like crazy. He would chase his siblings and the older cats, and to this day has never backed down from another cat, no matter how fierce they look. For all of his short comings he is fearless.
I have consolidated all of our work networking to a Facebook Fan Page, and will replace my work blog with this one. Something as far from work as anything can be. A welcome change as life motors on. ZZ........

Old Posts

5-24-09 - Last Thursday night as I was hanging with the family, windows open Beacon on the back of the sofa sniffing out the window, I kept hearing what sounded like maybe a night bird, or some animal calling out. The other cats heard it too, and kept coming up to the window looking out. By the time we were all ready to go to bed. TV off and a bit of quiet the sound became very clear. It was cats crying. I immediately went outside and to my amazement ans surprise found, in the window well (basement) four baby kittens. They were the offspring of a female that we have been feeding for about a year or so. She usually came (comes) to eat at night, so we had not noticed that she was carrying a litter of kittens. It was obvious that she had moved them there from another location,otherwise we would have heard them before. Particularly since they are about three to four weeks old. I left them alone and went back in the house and we all went to bed. Sometime in the middle of the night I could hear one of them crying, but it didn't last long. when I went to check on them in the morning there were only three. I assumed that the mother was moving them again since she was no where to be found, and would be coming back for the rest. The whole day passed and no momma cat. It was getting a bit chilly and after checking on the babies again I noticed that they were all shaking and cold. It was clear that they had not been attended to or fed for several hours. Leaving them there another night, possibly alone with no mommy and no food did not seem like a good thing to do, so I put them in one of our large carriers with blankets and brought them inside. They were a mess. The next morning (yesterday) I cleaned them all up and tried to get them to eat some cat food. Luckily they all ate the food., First from me, and then on their own. They are so tiny and wild. Yesterday as I was getting some tools from my garden shed, I found the momma cat. She is living in the garden shed. I went and got the babies and brought them to her but she would not let them come to her. She ran out and did not come back. So once again I scooped up the babies and brought them back into the house where they still are today. I don't know how it was that we got tagged as the animal rescue folks, but for as long as I can remember, even when I was a child myself, I have been rescuing animals. Nursing them to health and trying to provide a home for them, or find a good place for them to live. I don't know what we will do with these kittens. For now I just want to get them healthy and humanize them so that they can perhaps be adopted out later.

In the meantime, Beacon is finally recovering from what the vet calls a pressure wound. Not the bed sore type, but an open sore on the back hock of his lame leg. The one he drags around. It is a situation where a callous builds on the area and can get hard and crusty. He obviously bumped it on something and the callous popped off like a scab exposing the joint cartilage. Everyday for the past two weeks I have been bandaging it up. It has finally begun to heal, due in part to the use of granulex, and the bandage providing a cushion so that he doesn't lick it or bang it around as he zips through the house.

It's always something around here, but I know that I am doing the right thing. One day at a time. That's what I keep telling myself. ZZ

3-29-09 - Beacon Free is a cat, kitten who was born without the use of his back legs, a malformed tail and spine. And more life and gusto than any human or animal I have ever known. I call him my spirit guide, my teacher. He is now seven months old and we are fast friends. He is one of five kittens in a litter of two boys and three girls, all of which along with their mother Peggy Sue, share our lives, our home and the company of our other animal companions. It was from recent writings in my journal that I decided to start this blog. I have no idea where it will go, I just know that I need to do it.ZZ